For Police
A police officer may be the first professional a woman tells about the abuse. That encounter can influence whether she accesses support and feels able to engage with police again.337, 791
Harbour Lights Community gives your officers evidence-informed resources for every stage of abuse, so they can give women the information they need to understand their situation and move forward sooner.788, 789
Information that resonates with her specific circumstance can show her that your officers understand. That builds connection and trust that encourages future disclosure.337
01 — The Barriers
Police need to understand what has happened, assess risks and gather evidence. Yet women may face significant barriers to disclosing abuse or participating in an investigation, even when they want help.
Understanding these barriers, and offering information that addresses them, can help officers provide meaningful support and build the trust needed for continued engagement.337, 341
Research involving women who had experienced intimate partner violence found that some received information about support services from first responders following violent emergencies. Participants described this information as encouraging them to seek further support.788
For police, this highlights the value of offering relevant information even when a woman is not ready to disclose or take further action. Investigation, risk assessment and safeguarding remain essential throughout.
02 — The Solution
Relevant information. Consistent explanations. Continuing support.
For a woman to consider and use the information an officer offers, she first needs to trust that her concerns are understood and that the support is relevant to her situation.337
HLC helps officers establish and strengthen that trust in three ways.
Every encounter is an opportunity to build trust. Information that addresses her specific experiences can show her that officers understand what she is going through. This helps build trust.337, 341
HLC gives officers comprehensive, researched information on abuse to ensure her questions can be answered at every stage. By using HLC’s information, officers can demonstrate understanding and build her confidence in police as a source of support.
A woman may encounter different officers over months or years. Hearing consistent explanations can reinforce her confidence that police understand her concerns.337, 341
HLC gives every officer access to the same evidence-informed information, while planned training will help them communicate it consistently. Each encounter can reinforce the understanding and trust developed through previous contact.341
As she progresses through the stages of abuse, the questions she needs answered change.744, 792
At subsequent encounters, officers can establish what she already understands and offer information that addresses her next questions. Using the same reliable resources across those encounters can help provide continuity, even when different officers are involved.
03 — The Opportunity
Officers may meet the same woman many times, and she needs different support at each stage.
Officers are likely to meet the same woman several times as the abuse unfolds. SafeLives found that 78% of high-risk victims reported the abuse to police in the year before they got effective help, on average 2.8 times each.746
At each contact, she may be at a different stage of her journey and need different information. Harbour Lights matches a resource to each of the six stages below, so officers can offer the information that fits the stage she has reached.
Journey Through Abuse
6 stages of abuse
She leaves the relationship
01
Is this abuse?
What this stage brings
At this initial stage, the core challenge for women is recognising that what they are experiencing may be abuse. Behaviours can feel familiar, become normalised over time or be difficult to identify, particularly when control is non-physical. She may know something is wrong without knowing what to call it or whether she can seek help.581, 762, 763
How this may affect her
She may feel uneasy or uncertain about what she is experiencing, yet doubt whether it is serious enough to raise with anyone. Shame, embarrassment and fear of judgement can make discussing her concerns difficult.762, 763, 765
What this means for how she engages with you
She may not contact police because she does not recognise the behaviour as abuse or a matter for police. If officers encounter her, she may describe isolated incidents without identifying a wider pattern or minimise their significance.340, 762, 767
Research found that women who recognised their experiences as abuse were almost twice as likely to speak to police, although recognition was associated with help-seeking rather than shown to cause it.764
Constellation
Matches: Identify the behaviours · Recognise possible patterns · Explore privately
She can select behaviours she has experienced and see possible patterns of abuse, privately and without an account or identifying information.
An absence of disclosure does not mean there is no abuse.
A woman may describe concerning behaviour without recognising it as abuse or being ready to discuss it in those terms. Exploring specific behaviours without imposing a label may help establish rapport, alongside continuing risk assessment, investigation and safeguarding.338, 339, 340
Offer useful support before a woman is ready to disclose.
Constellation gives your officers a consistent, private resource they can offer without requiring a formal report. It can help a woman explore her experiences at her own pace and gives officers a practical way to demonstrate support. This may create opportunities for future contact and disclosure; improved engagement has not yet been demonstrated for Constellation.340, 341, 765
02
Why is this happening?
What this stage brings
At this stage, the core challenge for women is understanding why the abuse may be happening and reconciling it with the partner she believed loved her. She may be questioning whether she is to blame and afraid of what recognising abuse would impact her view of herself.766, 767, 768
How this may affect her
She may be doubting her own judgement or feeling confused, frightened or ashamed. This emotional state can make it harder for her to make decisions, act on them and explain what is happening.526, 721, 767, 768, 338
She may also be resisting the label ‘victim’ even as she begins to recognise abusive behaviour. She might associate it with weakness or helplessness, or she might think that it means she needs to take responsibility for what happened.769
What this means for how she engages with you
These effects can shape how she engages with police. She may be unsure what to tell officers, and whether police involvement will help her or bring further risks, including to her children.339 She may describe individual incidents without the wider pattern, minimise or revise parts of her account, defend her partner, or seek information and reassurance before she is ready to make a formal report.338, 340, 770 Each woman is affected differently.
Lumina — In Development
Matches: Understand the behaviours · Recognise wider patterns · Make sense of her experiences
Designed to help officers create a personalised, evidence-based guide in minutes, explaining the behaviours, their possible purposes, connections and consequences.
A woman who gives an uncertain or incomplete account may still want to engage.
She may still be making sense of her experiences while your officers need to establish what has happened. Respectful, non-judgemental communication and rapport may support later disclosure, alongside continuing investigative and safeguarding work.338, 340, 341
Help women feel understood and build confidence in your support.
Lumina is designed to give every officer the same evidence-based information, tailored to the behaviours each woman describes. It gives officers something useful to offer while rapport develops, before she has reached her own conclusions. A guide that reflects her experiences can show her she has been heard. Across repeated encounters, this may build trust and support later disclosure and engagement with police. It complements your force’s risk assessment, investigation, safeguarding and specialist support.338, 341
03
Am I safer staying or leaving?
What this stage brings
At this stage, the defining challenge for women is deciding what to do next. The choices are rarely simple, but most weigh the dangers of staying against the dangers of leaving. Staying can mean the abuse continues.745 Leaving often moves the abuse elsewhere and makes it worse, and almost half of those who experience violence after separation say it becomes more severe.533, 535, 588, 755 Most killings by former partners happen within six months of separation, and almost half within the first month.748
Either way, the abuse harms her, tripling her risk of depression and serious mental illness and causing continuous traumatic stress after separation.524, 535, 723 Her children suffer too, from the abuse at home and from post-separation abuse tactics.201, 706, 708, 710, 713, 714
How this may affect her
She may feel frightened, trapped or overwhelmed, as each option brings losses and dangers. Emotional attachment, financial dependence, concern for her children and fear of retaliation make the decision hard, even when she recognises the abuse.721, 737, 757
What this means for how she engages with you
She may want the abuse to stop without ending the relationship, or fear police involvement will make things more dangerous. She may seek advice or protection but resist making a statement, requesting an arrest or supporting further action.338, 339, 757
She may judge staying the less dangerous option for now.737 Her willingness to engage may shift with fear of retaliation, safety concerns and how police respond.339, 741
Lumina — In Development
Matches: Risks of staying · Risks of leaving · Reducing harm · Practical preparation
Designed to help her understand the risks associated with each decision, including post-separation abuse, and explore relevant precautions and practical options.
Support her whichever she decides
Support her whatever she decides, and keep investigating and safeguarding every time. Leaving does not end the risk, so avoid treating it as the goal. A decision to stay or return does not mean she no longer needs support.338, 588, 774 Women who intend to stay still need help to understand the abuse and plan around it, without blame or judgement.758
Her decision may change many times as she works through emotional attachment, safety concerns and practical barriers around money, housing and children. In a US study of 104 women in a domestic abuse shelter, 66% had previously separated and returned; of those, 97% had done so more than once.773, 774 A patient, non-judgemental response helps her feel confident about contacting police again.338
Maintain trust and keep the door open to future engagement.
The abuse may continue whichever she chooses, so she may need police again. A consistent, non-judgemental response builds her confidence in your force and her willingness to seek help again. Each further contact gives officers a chance to identify changing risks, receive information and support investigations. Research links respectful, empathetic police contact with greater victim satisfaction and confidence in seeking future help.338, 747, 775, 776
04
How do I make my decision possible?
What this stage brings
At this stage, the challenge is finding the support she needs if she has decided to stay or leave, while protecting herself and her children.757, 758, 759, 760
If she stays
Women can remain for different reasons and require different kinds of support. Some remain because of love; others remain because of challenges with finances, housing, or fear.721, 757, 758, 761
How this may affect her
She may be traumatised by continuing threats and overwhelmed by the demands of money, housing and childcare.721, 759, 760
What this means for how she engages with you
She may seek protection from specific incidents while being reluctant to support action against her partner. Fear of retaliation or disruption to her family may affect what she discloses and her willingness to participate in an investigation.338, 339, 758
If she leaves
After leaving, she may face continuing abuse that threatens her safety while consuming the time, money and emotional capacity she needs to rebuild her life and care for the children.508, 519, 759, 760
How this may affect her
She may be traumatised by continuing threats and overwhelmed by the demands of money, housing and childcare.721, 759, 760
What this means for how she engages with you
She may turn to police for protection as threats or abuse escalate during separation. However, concerns about retaliation, her children’s safety and the practical demands of establishing a separate life may affect her ability to remain engaged with an investigation.338, 339, 747, 759, 760
Checklists & Practical Resources
Matches: Protect herself and her children · Prepare for practical changes
Safety considerations and checklists for organising practical arrangements, whether she stays or leaves.
Post-Separation Abuse Guide Series
Matches: Respond to ongoing abuse
Explains post-separation tactics, their consequences and practical countermeasures.
Support Directory
Matches: Find continuing support
Connects her with specialist services for safety, housing, finances, legal matters and other needs.
She will need your support whether she decides to stay or leave.
If she stays: She may need protection from further abuse, safety planning and reassurance that she can continue to seek police help without being judged for her decision.338, 339, 758
If she leaves: She may need immediate protection from escalating threats, support with safety planning and referrals for housing, finances, legal advice and her children’s needs. Continued contact and reassessment of risk are particularly important during separation.747, 759, 760
In either situation, officers must continue appropriate investigation, risk assessment and safeguarding.
Reduce officer preparation time, strengthen trust and encourage future engagement.
Providing officers with ready-to-use checklists, practical guidance and relevant support services is designed to reduce time spent finding information and help ensure women receive consistent support across your force.
When officers provide meaningful help, regardless of whether a woman stays or leaves, they demonstrate that police support remains available. This can strengthen trust, encourage women to seek help again and create further opportunities to identify changing risks, obtain information and support investigations.341, 747, 775, 776
05
Why hasn’t it stopped?
What this stage brings
At this stage, the challenge for women is responding to the continued abuse that has now taken on new forms whilst trying to build an independent life. Post-separation abuse is common and can reach almost every part of her life, threatening her safety, finances, relationship with her children and ability to rebuild.201, 506, 528, 533
The risk to her can change at any point.747 Perpetrators may combine economic, legal, reputational, emotional and physical abuse, and each form deepens the harm of the others.201, 500, 514, 528, 760
How this may affect her
Repeated incidents leave her little time to recover before the next one. The constant pressure of threats, court proceedings and financial difficulty can cause severe distress, anxiety, depression and trauma symptoms.526, 528, 535 This can make it harder for her to think clearly, keep track of events and manage daily life.
What this means for how she engages with you
She may report incidents that look unrelated but form one continuing pattern of control. As the abuse spreads into her finances, the courts, her reputation and arrangements for the children, she may struggle to explain how incidents connect or what their combined impact is.201, 338, 528
Fear of retaliation, exhaustion and frustration with past responses can affect whether she stays engaged with an investigation.338, 339, 340, 741
Post-Separation Abuse Guide Series
Matches: Understand post-separation tactics · Find ways to respond
Explains abusive tactics, their potential harm and practical countermeasures.
Lumina — In Development
Matches: Understand post-separation tactics · Recognise ongoing risks · Find ways to respond
Designed to bring together personalised explanations, potential consequences and relevant post-separation precautions.
Support Directory
Matches: Access specialist support
Connects her with domestic abuse specialists and other relevant services.
Treat repeat reports as a possible pattern
Review previous incidents alongside each new report. This can reveal patterns of control, cumulative harm and escalating risk that single incidents hide. Each contact is a chance to reassess her safety, investigate the wider circumstances and build the trust she needs to stay engaged.338, 341, 747
Recognise patterns sooner and give officers ready-made resources.
Post-separation abuse often combines several tactics that take specialist knowledge to understand.528 HLC gives officers consistent, evidence-based information on these behaviours, designed to help them spot connections between incidents and ask more informed questions. Ready-to-use guides, the Support Directory and Lumina (in development) are designed to cut the time officers spend finding resources.
06
How does this end?
What this stage brings
There is no single or predictable end to abuse. For some women, it stops; for others, it becomes less frequent, continues or escalates. Even when the abuse ends, its consequences can last for years. At its most devastating, abuse can end in loss of life. These five possible paths are not mutually exclusive.749, 752, 533
| Possible path | What this can mean |
|---|---|
| 1) The abuse stops | Abusive behaviour ceases, sometimes following intervention, imprisonment or changing circumstances.749, 753 |
| 2) The abuse lessens but never ends | Incidents may become less frequent but remain consistent. This can continue for more than a decade after separation, keeping women in a low-level state of fear, preventing her from fully healing.749, 750, 751, 535 |
| 3) The abuse continues and escalates | Persistent threats, coercion and harassment can severely damage her, affecting her mental health and exhausting her resources, undermining her ability to support herself independently.528, 535, 579 |
| 4) Women lose their lives | Some women are killed by current or former partners; others die by suicide following domestic abuse.752 |
| 5) The abuse stops but the harm remains | Psychological, financial and personal consequences can continue long after the abusive behaviours end.533, 535, 579 |
How this may affect her
When abuse continues or repeatedly returns, she may experience prolonged fear, exhaustion and psychological distress, leaving her struggling to cope with everyday demands. Even when it stops, trauma, financial hardship and damaged relationships can continue to affect her wellbeing and independence.533, 535, 579
For some women, the cumulative effects can become overwhelming, contributing to feelings of hopelessness, severe depression or suicidal distress.752, 777
What this means for how she engages with you
If the abuse stops, she has reached the end goal and she will no longer seek your support. For the others for whom the abuse continues, she may seek your support while struggling with the consequences of the abuse on her mental and physical health. This can include cognitive flooding, hypervigilance fatigue, allostatic load, and executive dysfunction.338, 535, 741, 749, 750
Severe psychological distress may also affect her ability to explain events, respond to requests or remain engaged with an investigation. These responses should not be interpreted as unwillingness to cooperate.338, 777
What she may be trying to understand
She may want to know whether the abuse will ever stop, what could bring it to an end, how to protect herself and her children if it continues, and where to find support for the lasting harm.
Support Directory
Matches: Ongoing safety · Legal protection · Mental health and crisis support · Financial stability · Support for her family
Connects her with specialist organisations that can help address continuing risks and the lasting effects of abuse.
Post-Separation Abuse Guide Series
Matches: Ongoing safety · Legal protection
Explains continuing abusive tactics, including abuse through legal processes, and practical ways to respond. Specialist legal advice may still be needed.
Look for signs that prolonged abuse has brought a woman to breaking point.
Even when incidents have diminished or stopped, she may be experiencing profound psychological distress. Expressions of hopelessness, isolation, self-harm or thoughts of suicide must be taken seriously. Where there is concern, officers should ask sensitively about immediate safety and suicidal thoughts, and follow urgent safeguarding and crisis-response procedures.752, 777
Identify critical risks, protect lives and maintain engagement.
Recognising deteriorating wellbeing during police contact creates opportunities for timely safeguarding and intervention, including when the immediate report does not reveal the full extent of a woman’s distress.747, 777
HLC’s resources are designed to reduce the time officers spend finding specialist information and referrals, enabling consistent support across repeated encounters. Meaningful, respectful assistance may strengthen trust and encourage women to return when risks change, creating further opportunities for protection and investigation.341, 775, 776
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04 — Evidence & Assurance
Your force needs to know where the information comes from, how it is checked and where its limitations lie.
Harbour Lights Community brings together peer-reviewed research, legislation and professional guidance, with sources identified so you can examine the evidence behind our resources.
Our assurance framework explains how information is assessed, reviewed and corrected. HLC resources support informed conversations and access to specialist help, alongside your officers’ responsibilities for safeguarding, risk assessment and investigation.
05 — Delivery & Access
Your officers can use HLC’s existing resources through their established ways of supporting women. Constellation can be shared directly or embedded on your organisation’s website, with hosting, maintenance and updates managed by HLC. Officers can also access our guides, checklists and Support Directory when relevant to a woman’s circumstances.
You can explore introducing individual resources or making the wider collection available across your force.
Officer training is planned to help teams understand the information and explain it consistently during encounters. Lumina remains in development.
Working With Us
See how Harbour Lights could strengthen the support your officers provide.
Explore how our resources can help officers respond to women’s individual concerns, provide relevant information and build trust across repeated encounters.
Book a demonstration to see our existing resources, learn what we’re developing and discuss how they could support your force’s approach to domestic abuse.